I hate "just friends"

In the past year, I have been in close relationships with two of my friends. I've also felt the pain of ending those relationships. Both times, we ended the relationship by being "just friends". The first time it was my prerogative, the second, it was hers. Both times, though, we were lying. There is no going directly from boyfriend/girlfriend to "just friends" in my experience. When you break up, you go to acquaintance status. You aren't really even friends anymore without some serious work. No matter how much I would like to be friends with them still, it hasn't worked for me. I went through a period of avoiding them, or them avoiding me or both, then slowly became friends again. I still feel robbed of one of my best friends because we broke up under not the best circumstances.

My first girlfriend, Clarissa, put it best. When you break up, it's like you jump off a cliff. You don't walk back the way you came, you jump straight off a cliff. Suddenly, you're at the bottom, hardly even friends, if that. You have to work to get to that "just friends" you talked about.